Which Anne?

While interviewing one of my cousins for the latest episode of “Strange Family Folklore: Where the Paper Trail Meets the Genetic Trail,” she kept referring to “Anne Swanson.” Nearly a week prior to our interview, I’d discovered a report that detailed Anne Swanson’s extended family, who were my maternal grandfather’s mother’s side of the family.

We came across the report when my sister and I organized the pantry part of our parents’ front closet. As I looked at the family trees contained in the report, I found several different Annes. Not only that, but Anne Swanson had a daughter whose middle name was also “Anne,” which she chose to go by rather than her first name.

Throughout the report, last names were dropped from family trees and people were referred to by their nicknames in some places and their Christian names in others. That alone motivated me to update the report.

As I studied the family trees, I came across a branch I knew the most about: my maternal grandfather and his children, including Mom. To my horror, my aunt who’d died in childhood, was not listed as one of the children. I knew that once I finished the post production of the latest SFF episode, I’d start updating the report.

My usual approach to any project, is to work a little at a time. Before diving into the update, I researched how to create a family tree with the Word doc tools. Next, I researched how to select some pages to appear landscape style while others are portrait.

I read how to do those things for two reasons. First, to know that the program had the capability, and secondly, I wanted to jump into recreating those family trees.

Apparently the Anne who’d put the report together also placed a high priority on the family trees. She’d used graphing paper to neatly organize each family tree and had oriented the paper landscape style to provide more room.

There have been many innovations since 1978 when the report was completed. Once I have retyped and updated what already exists in the report, then I will begin filling out who people were beyond the one-sentence descriptions as found in several places.

This isn’t a criticism of Anne’s work. I appreciate her laying the foundation. According to her own description, she was a very accomplished person who may not have had the time or help to flesh out every family member’s entry.

I’m going to do my best to advance what she put in motion.

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Ninja Courses

Just as my life was settling down and starting to feel too routine, my sister invited me to volunteer with her and my nephew for an outdoor activity. I’d been to this outdoor family-oriented area previously when I’d searched for a leave a book/take a book kiosk.

Apparently, this organization had hosted the Ninja obstacle course activities for several years running. There were three levels, that roughly corresponded to age groups: treehouse for the the youngest participants, intermediate for older children and elite for adults–although some older children and teenagers attempted the elite course and some adults ran the intermediate course.

We rolled up just in time to meet the morning volunteers, have a boxed lunch with them, then listen to a brief orientation. Several women knew my sister from previous volunteer events.

Treehouse course

Although my volunteer assignment was at the participant registration desk, I hardly did a thing because three other women, who’d worked the event several times in the past, ran the table. Before I could greet families and individuals who approached the table, one of those women would yell out their names as they approached and helped them. As they processed people who registered with far more forms than my Virgo sensibilities thought was necessary, I caught on to the rhythm of how things should be done.

(For the record, two forms could have been combined on the same piece of paper with people only filling out the liability part if they weren’t going to run an obstacle course and another section if they were, then signing an attendance sheet to keep a running total of who was there that particular day since the event was held over multiple days.)

Intermediate Course

I managed to help perhaps two groups to register, but with one of the other women double checking my work, which I didn’t mind since they weren’t treating me as if I was incompetent.

Elite Course

During a lull, I walked around the grounds to take in the activities since registration was a ways away from the action. The treehouse course wasn’t actually being run by volunteers, so parents had to supervise their own children rather than watch them as an audience member. Only the intermediate and elite courses were being ran and timed as recorded events.

In the brief time I watched the elite course, two guys dropped at the same time, with one guy landing practically on top of the other, injuring him. The medic on duty was an impressive linebacker-built Black man. I immediately thought that if I had an emergency, that was the person I’d want to come to my aid.

The other people in line for the elite course didn’t seem the least bit phased by that injury and once the injured guy was helped and escorted out of the pool of water to audience applause, two more guys started the course. The faster of the two was working his way across the peg ladder when one of his pegs broke in half. He reported that he heard it cracking just before he fell into the pool. I didn’t blame him for feeling robbed.

Later in the day, the real work began. We tackled our parents’ front closet, which doubled as a pantry. Although the closet wasn’t as big as the garage we’d cleaned and organized, it was still full of stuff since we’d first moved into the house in ’79.

We moved out a portable rack full of coats and jackets, then cleared the floor and the bottom three shelves of canned/boxed/jarred food. After vacuuming mystery grain (that looked like corn meal, but Mom disagrees), wiping down and lining the shelves, my sister arranged the preserved food in the closet, which my nephew and I had grouped for convenience.

This process, which took much longer than we’d anticipated. Here are some things we discovered: 1) far too many boxes of Jello, especially lemon and orange, which will probably become Jello shots; 2) far too many boxes of vanilla instant pudding; 3) lots of stuff that should have been in the garage now that there was room; 4) a genealogy report my maternal grandfather had assembled.

That last nugget is the stuff of great discoveries are made of. The report was chock full of family history, most of which I didn’t know. Nonetheless, given the deteriorating condition of its flimsy construction paper cover, I knew I had to preserve it in sheet protectors. Once I removed the three brass brackets and placed the pages into protectors, I noticed the pages had no numbers.

I bought white blank labels, cut them into small squares and placed them on the lower hand side of the protected sheets. Then, using a scanning app on my phone, I took a picture of each page. Finally, I emailed the digital copy to my other sister and a cousin who has done deep research into our family history.

As I read the report, I noted that there were inconsistencies in the names. Within my mother’s part of the family tree, her older sister, Marguerite, who’d tragically died in a fire as a child, had been omitted.

  • Yes, the Virgo in me wants to update the report to clarify the confusing parts, correct the errors and expand upon the entries where the entirety of a person’s description is merely the son/daughter or spouse of someone. Plus, the index in the back should also be referenced with page numbers…now that they exist!
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Deck of Cards Birthday

My birthday box from a friend arrived days before my actual birthday.

Last year, I gifted myself several self-care items for my 51st birthday. This friend rounded out last year’s effort with gifts to help spiritually. Among the packet of information included, detailing the incense, pyramid crystal, and amulet was a personal letter about his personal spiritual journey.

My parents gifted me money, reflecting my new age.

Since moving back home, my family has shown me that not all people have joined me in not carrying cash. Two weeks after being gifted cash, it came in handy when I applied to get my NC license plate. When the employee told me the amount for the service, I pulled out my credit card as she said, “At least $5 must be paid in cash.” Although I gave her a surprised, questioning look, I didn’t bother asking any of the obvious questions, considering we’d been living in the upside down for the past few years.

The makings of a White Russian.

Mom had made “us” a pineapple coconut cake for our birthdays. Not that she’d asked me what type of cake I wanted. Nonetheless, when she told me that I could use the leftover heavy whipping cream for some recipe, I knew that I’d make us a liquid dessert in the form of a White Russian. The next day, after work, I went to the liquor store, known collectively as ABC stores, to buy the other ingredients. As a nod to Austin, I chose Tito’s.

Crude but effective cocktail shaker.

I’d either given away or packed away my cocktail mixing set, so this mason jar served that purpose. Honestly, when it comes to mason jars, one’s only as limited as one’s imaginations. I certainly wasn’t going to buy another hand mixing set, given all the stuff my parents already had.

We celebrated Mom and my birthday at a seafood restaurant.

I’d never eaten at this restaurant before, but both the decor and the food were wonderful. As a matter of fact, the only thing that was a disappointment turned out to be the birthday cake that they’d gifted us.

Mom blew out her candle first.

Since Mom and I were sitting directly across one another, we didn’t bother with taking a group pic of the two birthday women, but I’m so happy that I captured her in the process of blowing out her birthday candle. I handed my camera to my nephew without first explaining to him that he was to take my picture. When I saw him start to point the camera at Mom, I started yelling at him to take my picture since I’d already taken Mom’s.

I blew mine out fussing at my nephew.

At least he managed to take a decent picture. Next time, I’ll talk to him first about what I want, then hand him my camera. I’ve been away so long that I didn’t really appreciate how much instruction he needs despite him being in his early 30s. He’s cognitively a teenager at best.

At one point, Dad became a little restless, so I got his walker and he and I started walking the length of the restaurant. I’m not sure what brought more of a smile out of other people as we walked by. I wondered if it was my tiara or the combination of Dad and I walking together, but apparently we were a happy sight.

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Labor Day BBQ

Our famous family hibachi.

It’s older than I am. We were both brought back from Okinawa, Japan the second time my family was stationed there with the Air Force.

When my sister took the rainproof cover off the hibachi, a slew of cockroaches scattered. The last time the grill had been used was during the Fourth of July celebration, so the cockroaches had holed up during the rains between then and Labor Day weekend. Had I never been a Peace Corps Volunteer, those roaches may have turned me off from eating anything grilled on this hibachi. Yet I know better. First of all, the heat alone would kill anything that may be harmful. Moreover, we always clean the grill.

My sister assumed the grillmaster position.

About two years ago, she took over grillmaster duties from our father, who turned 84 this past April. Mom and Dad had a system: she seasoned the meat and he’d grill it. Now, Mom and my sister both season the meat and my sister grills it. I love how the grillmaster prepared for the occasion with her sun hat, a fly swatter, all the grilling implements and her smart phone. My contribution to the production was cleaning off the patio table and chairs before I dashed off to dance class.

The fruits of our collective labor.

Although the grillmaster had cooked ribs, chicken and steak, we saved the steaks for Sunday. Nonetheless, I was perfectly happy with my dinner. The only spoilers were the flies. I didn’t remember flies being such a nuisance when I was a child, eating outside on the patio. We ate dessert inside.

Before the next time I clean off the patio furniture, I’m going to research how to remedy the flies. I’m especially interested in rigging up a clear plastic ziplock bag half full of water and a few pennies. Allegedly that thwarts flies. I’d like to test that hypothesis. I just have to figure out how to rig it up. And find some pennies. Who still deals with cash, much less coins?

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Hanging in a Hammock

The most terrifying thing about this pose

was falling backwards and trusting that the hammock would catch me. Obviously, I have more faith in the hammock than I have that people would catch me during a so-called trust fall. Once, I overcame that apprehension, I had to build up my tolerance for being suspended by what felt like a thick rope cutting through my torso.

The poses were beautiful.

Yet, they were also exhausting. At least gravity helped to exit the poses. I wasn’t the least bit concerned with looking sexy. The instructor reminded us several times that the first class was the worst. That alone made me want to try it again.

The next class I want to try out is a hoop class in order to experience the difference. No matter which class I take at this studio, they never fail to be good work outs. I feel myself becoming stronger since there’s no way to cheat one’s way through any of the movements.

As a matter of fact, the biggest challenge to taking this class, along with some others, is my full time work schedule. I’m keeping my options open with my current job while working my writing side hustle. I’d love to either reduce my hours so I’m only working 4 days a week or pick up a lucrative writing gig.

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Want a Book?

Since relocating, I’ve been recreating my life. Not exactly the way it was in Austin since I was priced out of that city, but in a way that I can still enjoy being alive.

I hadn’t counted on not finding something as seemingly basic as a book exchange. One of those take a book/leave a book set ups found in some Mom and Pop coffee shops. I asked my sister to help me with that task on a laid-back Sunday when we both had time to kill.

The first place she took me to was so out of the way, out in yonder, I was impressed she knew about it. Nonetheless, their book exchange kiosk was no longer there. Then we paid a visit to an actual coffee shop that hosted open mics upstairs. We struck out there too.

As a matter of fact, the upstairs was so small, I’ll have to see it in action to believe that an actual open mic can exist there. I wonder whether there’s additional seating, or if people are cool with sitting on the floor, or if it’s so poorly attended that it’s left just the way it is.

My temporary solution to my book exchange dilemma is to ride around with that book in my car just in case I stumble upon a place where I can leave it.

I remember years ago being amazed that Build a Bear replaced the only bookstore in the oldest mall in town. Little did I know that was the canary in the coal mine.

One of my friends reminded me that the only reason such things like thriving open mics and book exchanges exist in Austin is that someone had started them. To which I said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I don’t want to be the organizer, just a participant.”

Not sure how realistic that is, given the transitory nature of this town. I see myself as transitory as well, but I’d have to find more lucrative work in order to move.

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Dreaming of Angels

A few days before I journeyed back to NC, I dreamed my father and I were at a crowded mall. We’d planned to eat at one of the restaurants. I told him to have a seat in one of the open areas of the mall while I sped walked to the restaurant to put my name in for a reservation.

When I reached the host’s station, I asked for a table for two. The host looked on his seating chart and told me number 933 would be the next available table. I thanked him and sped walked back to where Dad sat, so we could leisurely walk back to the restaurant.

When I awoke, I realized how weird the host telling me the table number was. That doesn’t happen in real life. Nonetheless, I shared 933 with Dad because he loves playing the pick three.

I looked up the significance of 933. Apparently, that number was sent to me by my guardian angels. They wanted me to know that they were watching over me. So I would be successful and safe during my impending multi-state drive from TX to NC.

Not only were the angels working to fulfill my wishes, but 933 also symbolizes personal and spiritual growth as well as self-realization.

This relocation has allowed me to boost the reinvention of myself. I’m always searching for self-improvement, but a change of scenery always helps to get out of a routine if only to develop a new one.

Even with my current job, once I logged back on after a 2-week vacation, I was in training with a new team because I’d accepted a new position.

Outside of work, I’ve been taking dance classes of a genre I’d never tried before. Plus, I’ve been collaborating on a project with another writer and my cousin. I’m hoping that something will come of that creative endeavor, allowing me to stop being an employee and allowing me to return to the freelancing world.

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Family Dinners

In many ways, I returned home just in time. My parents had recently recovered from COVID. I’d hit a pandemic-induced stagnation. I’d been priced out of Austin. I hadn’t seen any of my immediate family in two and a half years. I’d saved up enough vacation time to take two weeks off for the relocation.

Even so, there’s a major difference between visiting and relocating. Not only did I have to reclaim space within my parents’ house, I had to integrate myself into everyone’s lives.

Part of reintegration involved family dinners.

First, there was Sunday dinner after church.

Although I’m as secular as they come while still believing in God, I attended church with my family. For me, it’s more of a cultural practice than a religious one. Besides, it’s an act of optimism to believe that we’re on a positive path and there’s a point to existing.

For our first Sunday dinner, my sister chose Longhorn Steakhouse in honor of my return from Texas. Mom spoke up first to order fried pickles. When the server told Mom that that appetizer wasn’t on the menu, Mom insisted that she’d looked up the menu on her phone while we waited. The server was so sweet. “Ma’am, I don’t mean to keep correcting you, but we’ve never had fired pickles on the menu.”

Of course, we had the biggest laugh at Mom’s expense, which set an entertaining tone for the rest of the meal. Even my nephew, who notoriously orders a burger if that option is on the menu, entertained us. When he ordered a pork chop, I complimented him for branching out. Then, I thought about it. There was no way he’d try something new. I asked him if he’d seen the burger option. He hadn’t. Compliment rescinded.

The following Friday, my other sister and her family and a few of her in-laws, came into town and met us at a restaurant to celebrate my parents’ 61st Anniversary.

What a blessing!

I marvel at how long my parents have been married to each other. I chalk it up to the fact that they work together as a team and know how to support one another. As a result of their union and support, I have a home to come home to. My sisters and I have a solid foundation from which to grow and continue.

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Dance Class Desert

I researched dance classes after relocating to a new state. I’d been rehearsing with an African dance troupe for several months. I wanted to continue dancing even if I had to pay for classes rather than be a part of a performance group.

Just as I’d feared, not only were there no African dance classes, the vast majority of the offered dance classes were geared toward children and young adults. The first and perhaps only adult dance classes I found were pole fitness classes. I didn’t bother researching ballroom classes since COVID’s made a comeback. Now Monkeypox is making a run.

I’d always heard that pole dancing was good for both strength and flexibility. I started out with a style of dance class that could be best described as “backup dancer moves,” followed by level one pole dancing lessons. Next week, I’ll check out both “chair dancing” and “beginning aerial hammock.” The class names alone make me happy that I’ve found this studio.

I’m just fortunate I have something to get me out of the house that’s a form of exercise because my parents’ house is full of good, healthy food along with damn-near addicting unhealthy snacks. I’m eating too much of both for my full-time desk job. Even though I have a standing desk, it’s not a treadmill desk. That’ll be next.

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Cashless

Obviously, when I say “cashless,” it’s not like in my younger days, which was synonymous with “broke.” Now that I’m middle aged, I’m paycheck-to-paycheck broke, but that’s still not what I mean by “cashless.”

In this day and age, I no longer touch cash. I thought we were all on the same page about this. Apparently, my former existence prior to relocation was perfectly aligned for being cashless.

I paid Mom $30, using one of the digital platforms. You would’ve thought I’d just performed an exorcism. Once I set up the account for her, I sent her more money via the same digital platform a few days later. Mom repeated what her inner tech-phobic demon commanded, “Don’t send me money with that app! I want you to put cash in my hand.” Her demon also advised, “You should send it to yourself, then give me the cash.”

Mom has always been a logical person, but fear made her tell me to send my own money to myself and then give her the cash. As if there’s some magical app that would put cash in my hand if I sent it digitally to myself.

Of course it’s a generational thing. Nearly every job Mom had, she reported in person, except the time she was a babysitter. Even then, she interfaced with people. I, on the other hand, now work from home, interacting virtually with clients and coworkers.

Unlike Mom, I’ve not received a cut check on a regular basis in decades. There’s the occasional odd job where I may get a check, but it’s usually direct deposited.

On the other hand, Mom wanted to watch one of our relative’s funeral that was streaming on Facebook. Mom had heard that there was a way to see what she was streaming on her tablet, on the TV. As soon as I showed her how to cast from her iPad to the TV, Mom started dancing in her seat. “I’m going to be so good, I’m not going to know how to act!” Definitely no demons there.

Years ago, Mom’s demons would scream, “Don’t send me no text.” Now, she navigates through her smart phone like a pro, including sending the occasional text message.

Mom’s rarely an early adopter when it comes to technology, but she’s definitely on board with either internal motivation or familiarity–even if it takes her a decade or longer to become familiar.

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