Fluidity of Crime

Posted on August 22, 2021 by mathdreads

For many years now, I’ve not been the least bit impressed about the criminality among our politicians. Imagine: lawmakers breaking laws! Unfortunately, none of us have to use our imagination, given the state of the sliding-scale morality of elected officials.

One political party is so notorious that their essential question must be, “Is it a crime to commit a crime?”

I remember a time where just being caught ended careers. Not so nowadays. Politicians who can’t keep their hands to themselves or keep it in their pants or stick to adults still maneuver to hold onto their jobs/power far longer than previous lawbreakers.

With all the social media platforms, digital trails don’t bury political criminals. Despite the fact that a man is a man, no matter his profession, any man with a wealth of resources and privilege can just about get away with shit for much longer than a poor man. Even name his own terms.

Take the recent political criminal, NY Governor Andrew Cuomo. Normally, this latest incident wouldn’t warrant a blog post, but I was so inspired by his excuse: his physical contact with women didn’t cross the line. The line moved.

Oh, how I howled with laughter when I heard that one! I mocked with glee, “I didn’t commit a crime. The crime committed me. I wanted no part of it, but the crime insisted.”

On top of that, he got to resign and name his last day two weeks from his announcement of stepping down. All so dignified even though he’s allegedly guilty as hell.

I wonder when such humane treatment will be extended to men of color when they’re suspected of criminal activity?

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What Would It Take

Posted on August 15, 2021 by mathdreads

The saddest biographies I’ve read lately are the deathbed confessions from formerly staunch anti-vaxxers. They had a cornucopia of reasons for not wearing masks nor getting vaccinated. As illness ravaged away their political opposition to fighting a virus, they expressed regret and urged loved ones to get vaccinated. At least those who lingered long enough to communicate.

One father of a 5-month old baby boy urged others to get vaccinated prior to succumbing to a COVID infection. Looking at that sweet picture of a proud father and angelic cherub who was his daddy’s spitting image, I wondered what would it take to persuade people to fight against COVID. Obviously, this son wasn’t enough to sway his father.

As someone who chose to be childfree, I’ve often heard parents state that they would do anything for their children, but, as I’m seeing, there are limits to that. Some parents, such as this guy, were far more concerned about political rights than raising their children into adulthood.

Then, other parents, fight tooth and nail against healthcare professionals and school employees for insisting on a mask mandate. Again, political rants about freedom are far more important than minimizing their children’s exposure to COVID.

At the same time, I question why, when they succumb to the virus, do these same people then go to the hospital? After all, if they didn’t trust medical professionals enough to wear a mask or get vaccinated, why bother after the fact? Do healthcare workers appear more trustworthy during the fever dream of infection? Is suddenly trusting healthcare professionals a symptom of COVID among anti-vaxxers/-maskers?

As talk of herd immunity and booster shots swirl, medical innovators continue to experiment with different preventative delivery systems. I continue to be optimistic about different breakthroughs such as an inhaler, which coats the lungs with an anti-viral treatment. I’m hoping that those who fear that the vaccination shot includes a microchip, will be the first in line for the inhaler. Until misinformation sets in.

Speaking of which, another grizzly biography I heard just today involved a man who killed his two young children because they had “lizard DNA.” Some newfangled QAnon thing, which I don’t think is even directly related to COVID, but these are such desperate times, I wonder if, in general, people with borderline mental health issues have been pushed over the edge.

Another innovation I hope manifests will be different avenues for coping with extreme stress.

Categories: Pandemic | Leave a comment

Don’t Need an Olympic Team

Posted on August 8, 2021 by mathdreads

Watching so much of the 2020 Olympics had me thinking. Those elite athletes have laser-sharp focus and make a tremendous effort within a minute skill set. Countries don’t send one athlete to do EVERY event or even a Noah Ark’s pair, but a team. An advanced team to compete, each in their area of expertise.

What captured my thoughts was this: if an olympiad doesn’t have the unrealistic expectations of doing it all, why do I? Somehow, my upbringing, where I was told I had to work twice as hard to get half as much as people who were born with more privilege, has been my driving factor. Do I regret my accomplishments? Of course not. Do I now value not trying to do it all. Hell yes!

The Olympics has helped drive home my new embrace of doing what I can as I can. I fully embrace that I don’t have a personal team to pick up the slack. I’ve had a fluid schedule for years now. Juggling what needed to be juggled, given the myriad of deadlines.

Yet, there was always some part of me, my damn inner critic, who longs to be a Super Negro, nagged that there was more to be had or more to be done. Not just in terms in money. If nothing else, my life has been proof that I’m not chasing money. Trying not to chase after poverty either.

What usually stops me from asking for help, much less assembling a team, though, is the lack of funding. I don’t feel right asking people to essentially donate their time for my creative cause. The other side of it is that I’ve learned to do many creative things in pursuit of a low-budget project.

At the same time, I don’t need an Olympic team to complete the things I’m doing. A small group of dedicated people who gathered for a common cause would do. Of course, the bigger the ask, the more the participants have to invest in their time and effort.

For now, I’m going to do as much as realistically can. One day, I’ll have my team.

Categories: Creative Projects, Special Events | 1 Comment

Olympic Watching

Posted on August 1, 2021 by mathdreads

I credit still being in a plague for all my Olympics viewing. There’s still a hotbed of COVID superspreading, so this event has broken up my usual TV programing.

And speaking of hotbed…some genius thought it would be a wonderful idea to make Olympiad beds out of a cardboard frame. First of all, if anyone can endure the rigors of having sex in untraditional places, whether it’s a tricked out bed, or comfortably contorting into a strength position for loving, it would be Olympiads. Secondly, if all else fails, there’s still the floor.

The opening ceremony was a 4 1/2 hour theatrical extravaganza. From the interpretative dance and tap dancing to the parade of nations, which displayed more flight attendant attire than anything else, but Tonga man was still an oiled up crowd pleaser. My absolute favorite part was the “living emoji” choreography with animation sequence, depicting the international symbols of the Olympic events. That production crew deserves an Oscar for that segment. The juxtaposition of Kabuki theater with that out of control jazz pianist was fabulous. I’ve never seen a pianist use so much of her body not only to play, but to dance with the instrument.

I watched events I had never seen before. At one point, I googled, “What’s the name of the Olympic sport that looks like soccer in a swimming pool?” No, I didn’t feel the least bit stupid when the words “water polo,” flashed on the screen. As a matter of fact, I’m happy I finally learned what that sport looked like after hearing about it for so long. I especially liked that the women’s USA team had a black goalie with long powerful arms, batting away the opposing team’s shots like stopping white women from touching her hair.

Besides the obvious rooting for the home team, or any other country I’ve lived in or Brazil since that’s the birthplace of capoeira, I enjoy learning the stories behind the athletes. Beyond being amazed by their physical acts of strength, I am inspired by their personal narratives. After all, I don’t know any of them personally. Not even the top gymnastic GOAT, Simone Biles, who resides in Houston when she’s not wowing the world with her spectacular feats.

The most awe-inspiring and unpredictable thing Biles did during this year’s games was to take a mental health break. The world watched in horror as she got lost in space while in the air during her vaulting routine. Gymnasts call this phenomenon “the twisties.” An athlete undergo catastrophic injuries when that happens. Fortunately, Biles didn’t suffer permanent physical injuries and knew to take a break.

The world overwhelming supported her wise decision, but the usual trolls demanded that she continue and ridiculed her for not continuing. This flared the “Black women must fight all battles all the time” argument. Sigh. One fine day, and I sincerely hope I live to see it, Black women will be seen as human beings and not beasts of burden who must utterly exhaust ourselves for the comfort and pleasure of others.

Meanwhile, other women are fighting to dress comfortably, given the rigors of their sport. Given the fact that The Olympics started when no women had a say in formulating the rules, now the athletes themselves must demand a voice such as the Norwegian handball team. They were fined because they wore comfortable shorts rather than the skimpy bikini bottoms. Pop star Pink offered to pay the fine, but in the end, the European Handball Federation paid the fine rather than the team itself.

Lots of controversy swirls around this year’s Olympics and many felt that the games should have been canceled due to the pandemic alone, in addition to all the other bullshit that goes on due to the Olympics.

As usual, I wonder if cancellation would better address any intersectionality of discrimination. Showing elite athleticism often breaks down barriers and allows spotlights to be shined on such things as mental health issues, gender disparity, sexual orientation discrimination and the such. How much can be gained by NOT seeing these athletes hailing from different backgrounds?

Just last year, the world protested against police brutality because they saw the video of George Floyd’s murder. Now, the world is witnessing how these seemingly arbitrary Olympic rules are being applied. Why, for example, an athlete cannot participate for consuming a THC gummy, which didn’t enhance her performance, but a country found guilty of doping its athletes to give them an edge can still participate with a name change.

The world is watching. There are many different ways to protest. Yet we cannot care about what we don’t know about. Video is a very powerful medium, which motivates the masses to take action in whatever form they have access to.

The mere presence of skateboarding for the first time as an Olympic event shows changes happen with advocacy. I look forward to the next Olympics. I optimistically hope the discussions we’re having now are woven into how things are run in 2024. I also hope that the next time around, I’ll have to make time in my busy schedule just to watch the Olympics…perhaps in a public place, unmasked on the weekends.

Categories: Special Events | Leave a comment

Global Grandmother Cures

Posted on July 25, 2021 by mathdreads

Remember the last time you were sick? So sick in fact you had to get off the hamster wheel of your busy life and slow way down. As you made the umpteenth trip to the bathroom or blew your nose until it was raw, all you wished was that someone would baby you like grandma used to do. Even Nana’s soothing voice comforted you. If you weren’t so sick, you could have thought clearly and remembered what granny used to do in times like these. Your abuela either walked into the kitchen or bathroom to prepare a home remedy or get inexpensive over-the-counter treatment. Dadi knew best. Now, you no longer need to suffer alone. With Global Grandmother Cures, you can get the advice from an Asian, Black, and/or Hispanic grandmother. 

That opening pitch/introduction started the presentation, on which I’d collaborated with three other students from my evening Data science class. I’d originally had a different idea for the Chatbot project when I thought I’d have to do the whole thing by myself. Fortunately, I only had to do one-fourth. I stayed my comfort zone.

As a matter of fact, we all landed in the roles where we were best suited. The only guy in the group was also the person who had the most coding experience. Naturally, we rallied around him to present the code and tinker with the given Chatbot code to personalize it with the persona of someone’s grandmother.

If we’d had more time, we could have researched and written more home remedies data. During our first meeting, I shared my mother’s most popular home remedy for warding off a cold: crushed raw garlic in a spoon, followed by a shot of juice. Another person stated that sleeping with sliced raw onions in the bottom of a sock was her family’s home remedy for colds.

Another stated that her family just rubbed Vick’s all over their body. At that point, we all screamed that our families also used Vick’s Vapor rub. That was a unifying moment since the four of us represented Asian, Black and Hispanic cultures.

Another project member worked on the visualization. She designed emojis with different skin tones and gray hair to represent the grandmother personas.

Finally, the last project member handled the business monetization. In our rehearsal, I told her that we couldn’t use such words as “diagnosis,” “treatment,” nor “cure.” Plus, we couldn’t mention specific diseases. The safe words were “helps,” “alleviates,” “soothes,” as well as general symptoms such as “head cold,” “stomachache.”

Yet, her idea was solid, given the fact that the US is a developed country without universal healthcare; so one hospital stay due to an accident or major medical condition could realistically bankrupt someone. Even a doctor’s visit may be out of one’s budget, yet relief may be found in a grocery aisle–along with rest and drinking plenty of water.

Our Chatbot would help alleviating the minor symptoms with the caveat if symptoms persist or constitute an emergency, then someone should either call 911 or otherwise see a doctor.

If I had the opportunity to develop this project, I’d make more of a deep-dive effort to research home remedies from different cultures, starting with a collage of names for “grandmother,” written in the language/alphabet from their culture of origin.

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Scheduling the Future

Posted on July 18, 2021 by mathdreads

Within four days, I started a new full-time job, followed by an evening computer class. When I was a secondary math and science teacher, I advocated for my students to be lifelong learners. Wouldn’t my former students be proud that after all these years, I’m still practicing what I preached?

I redesigned my schedule in order to redesign my life. Like a true student, I’m reading more than ever about coding because my personable data science instructor entertains, but doesn’t quite teach. Nonetheless, as a former teacher, I feel it’s my responsibility to learn the material. He’s just there to guide us through the curriculum and cheer us on.

To my surprise, there is still enough time in the day. While I no longer read while watching TV, at least I’m ploughing through it at a reasonable clip. I’m no longer juggling my creative projects during the week, but the weekends have become just that sweeter. That’s when I can illustrate, film edit, and apparently write and direct my Chatbot project.

Four of us Data Science students were thrown into a group together–just like the other five groups in that class. This is just the latest instance where my directing and writing skills truly come in handy. I essentially pitched my idea and won one other person to join the Chatbot group. The other two were placed in the group by the instructor. None of us feel to confident about our coding skills. Nonetheless, we divvied up roles, where I volunteered to introduce the project. We’d all attempt coding even though one person in the group would explain it.

At the end of the last computer class prior to our presentation, I scheduled a 30-minute Zoom meeting with my group. It was the first time we took the opportunity to do so. Before then, we’d only communicated via a private Slack channel. We volleyed ideas back and forth with the makings of a project plan. Two of us had previously thought we’d have to do the project solo.

Fortunately, our combined ideas are better than two individual ones. I expanded my idea about having my mother’s voicemails being the Chatbot. Another woman thought how to monetize a medical Chatbot. So, between the two of us, we had half of the project roles covered. Now we have the weekend to fill in the blanks.

In addition to writing my introduction/pitch to “Global Grandmother Cures,” I’m going to outline a script of the presentation. I figure, even if the content is shaky, we can tighten up the presentation itself. My goal is to send that out by Saturday, so I can work on coding something simple on Sunday, then rehearse on Monday.

All of that looks good on paper. Let’s see how much we can pull off.

Categories: Tribe of One | Leave a comment

Clean Slate

Posted on July 11, 2021 by mathdreads

The arrival of my workstation from my new lucrative full-time job signaled the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

Taking no chances, I cleared everything off my desk, wiped it down with a disinfectant wipe, and burned sage to cleanse the bad juju from the space.

I happily set up my new workstation, then grudgingly set up the old workstation in front for one last time. I worked both part-time jobs from 8:30 to 11:45. At noon, I had one of the best virtual yoga classes. I truly felt that I’d cleansed the end of both jobs from my workspace as well as my soul.

After lunch, I packed up the old workstation and put it in the closet. The plan was to let it marinate for a while to see if I actually needed it any more.

In the meantime, life proceeded so much better now that I was no longer worried about money. I got the best sleep ever. Not only is my new job less stressful, I actually feel good that I’m directly helping people.

Adding to this new chapter, I enrolled into a Data Science class. All I can say is thank god I was a math and science teacher for over 20 years. What I lack in coding skills, I make up in catching onto the logic of the Python computer language–along with supplemental reading, thanks to my roommate lending me her book. The material that comes with the course only makes sense if the instructor’s reading to us while shining his charisma through it.

I thought the schedule itself would be grueling since I have only 30 minutes between when work ends and class begins. The instructor is very entertaining. Almost too entertaining. After class, I’m so happy to have attended, but then I think, “What did we just do?”

I was greatly relieved when the instructor told us that one of the roles of a Data Scientist was to tell a story. In this aspect, I’m ahead of the curve. The he meant “storytelling” was by interpretation of data.

However, coding is writing in a computer language. A very exacting computer language where if I don’t say things in the correct way (syntax), then I will have coded gibberish (errors). Some are so fluent in computer code, they write very elegantly, which expresses the most with the least. That’s how I write in English when given enough time to edit. That’s the level I’d like to reach with coding.

Once I’m fluent in coding, I’ll transform my workspace again. These tech skills will bring me closer to being a paid storyteller. At that point, I expect to not only sleep even better, but be more entertained by my dreams.

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80th Strange Family Reunion

Posted on July 4, 2021 by mathdreads

Two days after quitting both of my nonlucrative, remote, part-time jobs, I virtually attended the 80th Strange Family Reunion. Yet another silver lining from the coronavirus. The plague sank me financially, hence the two jobs, which kept me underemployed. Yet this global event allowed me to attend our family reunion two years in a row because all it cost me was time.

I met relatives I didn’t know existed and heard stories of ancestors I never knew. Thanks to technology, I’ve captured several narratives from the second generation of freeborn Stranges of whom my mother is one of the remaining of 12. I even took the opportunity to invite them all to participate in a podcast interview, which I launched last year, Strange Family Folklore.

Throughout the virtual program, I kept directing certain parts because I knew I’d eventually have to edit the video for posterity’s sake. I pointed out at the end of Sunday’s hourlong virtual church service, sermoned by one of my cousins, that next year when we’re all together in real life, our tradeoff will be not having a record of the program from start to finish like we’ve done in the past two years.

That prompted one of my sisters to suggest that “someone” could still record impromptu interviews with family reunion attendants, which motivated my other sister to volunteer her to do so. I felt that one coming on. Just like I knew yours truly would probably edit it.

Before I get too ahead of myself, though, I’ll focus on editing this year’s reunion. Since this will be my third Zoom recorded editing project, I’m hoping that it’ll be the charm. I finally have all the clips, including the ones from the other two breakout rooms. As three other people sent me their clips, I fondly remember how that step used to be the stumbling block.

This time around, I knew exactly what to ask them for and how to retrieve it, regardless of how they sent it to me. I even played the role of IT with one of my sisters. She was stuck in that loop of doing the same thing repeatedly, expecting a different result. She’s not crazy. She just didn’t know another way to send the mp4. Not until I talked her through it.

Fortunately, I’ve upped my technology game. My full-time job is tech heavy, and I’m also taking an evening Data Science class. My worst fears of biting off more than I could chew has not come true. If anything, the more I learn about how to use technology to pursue both work and creative projects, the happier I am.

My navigation through this modern jungle of existence has become more interesting. The light at the end of the tunnel isn’t a locomotive ready to mow me over after all.

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Juneteenth At Last

Posted on June 27, 2021 by mathdreads

Is there such a thing as an optimistic cynic?

If so, then that’s who I am. As soon as I heard the swiftness with which congress made Juneteenth a holiday, I cheered, then said, “I know you motherfuckers just want to distract us from your voter suppression efforts.” I’m familiar with that old trick. Throw us a bone and then take away something even bigger than what you just gave us.

It’s similar to when the workplace occasionally caters lunch, but doesn’t give anyone a raise.

Yet, as an optimist, I believe making Juneteenth is a step in the correct direction. It acknowledges the first time in American history when we were all free. At least on paper. There are days when I still feel I’m being treated as if I’m 3/5ths of a person.

Another recent win: the Supreme Court saved the Affordable Care Act (ACA). Another lesson the pandemic has taught us is that people of color and poor people have different medical and economic outcomes without inexpensive health insurance. The Court stated that ACA didn’t harm anyone since no one pays the individual mandate AKA the dreaded “penalty.”

Once again, karma’s a bitch. The GOP successfully fought to remove the individual mandate during their last attempt to kill ACA. Now, if only something like that can be applied to these voter suppression laws and the filibuster.

I’ll try to positive think that into existence.

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In-Person Film Fest

Posted on June 20, 2021 by mathdreads

My first in-person film fest event took place about 30 minutes outside of Austin proper.

Before heading out to the event, I coached myself not to automatically hug people I knew. After all, this was my third in-person event. I had to show some maturity and restraint. I asked first if someone accepted hugs or not. Progress.

Once I found my fellow board members, we hung that blasted banner. I’d learned my lesson the first time around over a year ago when we’d first used it. Only took one failed attempt this time before we settled for hanging it lower.

From there, we walked back to the hotel, which hosted the film festival.

We mingled and sipped free drinks. Thanks to a plague lesson, the bartender had a QR code for us to tip him. I don’t know if I’ll ever use cash ever again.

Closer to our co-sponsored happy hour, we strolled back over to the restaurant.

Technically, the festival organizer had paid for catered food. Still, I like to do my part. I knew the bartender was up-selling when he dazzled us with a description of a drink that wasn’t even on the menu. His showmanship was divine, so I ordered a “mariposa.” It was as pretty as he said it would be and garnished with edible flowers.

I mingled around the filmmaker crowd.

I view all of our events as membership opportunities. Nonetheless, I was impressed how many had come from out of town. I’d mistakenly thought no one had disposable income to do something like this. That was me projecting.

Although I left at midnight, two hours before the event was scheduled to end, I counted my attendance a success. Least of all, I’d made lemonade out of lemons. Training for my lucrative full-time job was supposed to be the next morning. Due to a computer glitch, my start date had to be pushed back two weeks. That door closed, so this opportunity opened.

As I continue to navigate through the post-COVID jungles of landing lucrative employment, I now have to include working out a schedule that includes in-person social events. What a refreshing change of pace–fitting live events into my work/life/bingewatching balance.

Categories: Filmmaking, Special Events | Leave a comment