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Not New Year’s Resolutions

Posted by on September 19, 2021

Never before have I used a birthday to make a conscious effort to improve the quality of my life. The kind of changes that most people make around New Year’s, but then again, I’ve never lived through a pandemic either. Going on two years of being sequestered. Now a combination of middle age bulge and pandemic pounds are literally weighing me down.

I’m not even trying to be girlie here. Recently, a man had a heart attack and couldn’t find a hospital to admit him. He died because so many COVID patients crowded him out. I cannot say that my recent lifestyle change will prevent a heart attack, but it’s better than sitting around and seeing how far and fast my ass can spread.

As much as I like my new job, I’ve sat on my ass for 8 hours a day. A full-time desk job managed to change my body faster than I imagined. I’m not at the place yet where I believe “sitting is the new smoking.” Then again, I’m not going to wait until my excessive sitting catches up to smoking levels.

Adopting a new exercise routine wasn’t too hard, courtesy of the pandemic. My active schedule has been wiped clean, so breaking up my online bingewatching when not asleep or at work is a good thing. Plus, it gives me something new and interesting to think about.

My eggbeater kick has come along nicely. I still can’t quite do it, but the overall pool workout is what I focus on while the weather permits. I only have a few more weeks until the temperature drops or the rainy season begins.

Just in time to level up on my vibration plate. I’ve used that magic machine twice a day during the week and once a day on the weekend. The first thing I noticed when I started using it was how good my joints felt. After about two or three days, I discovered how it helps “detoxification.”

I’ve not had a bowel movement like that since being in the yoga hot room before the plague. Thanks to a mostly healthy diet and exercising on a regular basis, I don’t experience constipation. But this vibration plate, just like Bikram yoga, causes “enhanced” bowel movements.

Call me crude. I can’t help thinking that this is one of the few cases where getting more shit is a good thing.

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