The physical appearance of this on-going pandemic has manifested all over my body: 147 lbs, 35″ bust, 35″ waist, 41.5″ hips, and 23.25″ thigh. Never in life have I ever summarized myself in such numeric terms besides age, but I recently joined a “life improvement” challenge. Granted, the point is both physical and mental improvement. I especially want to lose the pandemic pounds along with the reoccurring negative thoughts.
Yet, the physical measurements are both easier to ascertain while at the same time harsh to read in black and white. I’m well aware that numbers don’t lie, but people can lie with numbers. The lie I may be telling myself about these set of numbers is that they’re the conclusion of an on-going pandemic, middle age hood, and a full time desk job.
I’ve done everything I can to counteract all except the aging part. I’m not obsessed with reversing the aging process–just living through it healthily and pain-free. As far as the pandemic, I’m double vaxxed and considering the booster. As far as the J-O-B, I got a standing desk, which I started off using just for the last 90 minutes of the work day, then the last two hours, and finally close to four hours.
I’m doing all I can to mitigate the curveball changes in the course of pursuing happiness. But those numbers. Once I got those measurements, I felt less attractive. I envisioned the top half of my body as a cylinder and the bottom half as a sphere. Contained within, a restless blob.
As disjointed as that image is, I’m working to reconcile body positivity with getting back into shape and embracing a more positive headspace. Part of the challenge is taking a daily supplement. The upside is that it gives me more energy, better sleep and suppresses the hunger pains, which means the munchies have disappeared. Eventually, the weight will too. The downside, I’ve got one more thing that’s become a part of my morning routine.