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Reading the Floor

Posted by on July 28, 2024

As soon as I walked into the restaurant where my nephew, a hamburger enthusiast, chose, I knew I’d drink tequila, and no matter the entree, I’d be generous with a red hot sauce. The dirty floor tipped me off.

I learned from living and travelling in many developing countries that one surefire way to kill the pathogens in dodgy food is to consume strong alcohol. My favorite is tequila. Definitely something magical in that agave-derived drink. As soon as one sips that intoxicating elixir, the digestive track starts to settle down.

During a safety meeting I’d attended, the speaker recommended generously covering one’s food in red hot sauce if it looked questionable. Turns out that capsaicin, which is found in red chilies, helps kill most food-borne bacteria. Although garlic, onions and black pepper have similar properties, it’s far easier to carry and apply hot sauce than fresh garlic, onions and black pepper.

As if the lack of cleanliness wasn’t enough, the restaurant also had overpriced, watered-down margaritas. Fortunately, I had tequila at home to ensure no digestive wars.

My nephew informed me after the fact that he had a gift card for the restaurant, which was given as a Christmas present. As luck would have it, he didn’t have the card with him, so he’ll have to return to use it.

His mother will take him.

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