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Sound Bouquet

Posted by on October 27, 2019

I never suffered from allergies until I moved to Austin at age 39. Apparently, The Live Music Capital of the World affects many newcomers the same way.

For years, my inexpensive go-to strategies for dealing with my newfound allergy involved using a neti pot, attending regular Bikram yoga classes, and gobbling the cheapest brand of honey-flavored cough drops, which greatly stopped the sneezing fits.

The most recent allergy symptom has been wax buildup as if, even my ears, want to keep that benign pollen out of my body like it was something deadly. Last year when I first suffered allergy-induced wax buildup, I figured it was just a new facet of middleagehood.

My usual responses–drops of hydrogen peroxide, earwax removal drops, waiting it out–didn’t work. Weeks rolled into months. I’d become accustomed to telling people that I temporarily couldn’t hear out of my right ear. I made the “mistake” of telling this to my chiropractor. He casually placed his powerful thumb below my right ear, where the Eustachian tube was, and rubbed it. Talk about pain.

Nonetheless, it didn’t break up the blockage even though I’d mimic a less painful rendition of his technique for a few weeks afterwards. The interesting popping sound made me feel that something was going on. I had no fever nor pain, so I knew there was no ear infection. Yet, this condition persisted.

I researched and applied other techniques, but this case was beyond those remedies. The only two remaining options were going to a clinic to get it irrigated or ordering an ear irrigation system online. Figuring that ownership was cheaper than a copay, I ordered one.

The delivery date came and went. I tracked the package through the vendor. Double checked my order. For some inexplicable reason, Amazon had used my previous address. I’d moved months ago within the same apartment complex and had since ordered some things prior to this, using my current address.

So, when I placed my order, I didn’t notice the old apartment number. I brainstormed the least creepy way to approach the new tenant of my former apartment about the package. How to balance not being aggressive with not essentially accusing them of stealing my package? I called the leasing office and explained the situation. An assistant assured me that kind of thing happened all the time with Amazon.

Last year, my apartment complex installed a package hub, so deliveries could be safely stowed in a secure locker. When residents receive a package, it’s logged in and an email is sent to the resident with a security code. Once the code is entered, the door opens and the resident gets their package.

After calling the leasing agent, I dashed off to yoga and by the time I finished class, I’d received an email, indicating a package awaited. I’m not sure the behind-the-scene things the leasing agent assistant had done, but my package was intact.

After all that, one would think I’d rip the package open as soon as I got home, but suddenly I was apprehensive. I washed the Bikram yoga funk laundry, logged on again to make my daily quota, THEN I read the instructions to irrigate my ear.

First I had to put a few drops of hydrogen peroxide in the blocked ear for 15 minutes to soften the wax. Afterwards I mixed 1 part hydrogen peroxide with 3 parts very warm water in the spray bottle. Next, I connected the tubing to the nozzle with the disposable tip that was shielded by a splash guard.

The trickiest part was balancing the plastic bowl on my shoulder while hooking it under my ear. Even though I sat in front of my bathroom sink, I couldn’t comfortably lean over the sink while also operating the spray bottle. I felt one hand short for that task. Instead, I trusted that the bowl would capture the water and I’d periodically dumped it in the sink.

Once I had the tip properly placed, the pressure and temperature of the water felt wonderful. I dumped the irrigation water from the bowl and started pumping water into my ear canal again. Just as I’d begun to think I’d wasted my money, the dam broke.

Gross.

But I couldn’t run away. I had to keep pumping to remove all the wax debris. Like magic, my hearing returned. I used the remaining water for the other ear. No dramatic wax excavation there, but still a cleaner ear canal.

The first time I turned on the faucet to clean the sink, a rich, beautiful bouquet of sound bloomed. Such joy in everyday phenomena. Far beyond mere hearing.

For the next 24 hours, I discovered the sound character of my new apartment. I hadn’t realized all I’d missed, listening with just one ear and a muted ear.

Without a blocked ear, my sinuses drained. I couldn’t feel the drainage from my right Eustachian tube, but I knew that everything flowed so much better. With another way out, mucus didn’t have to be constantly blown out of my nose.

What a joy to be brought closer to homeostasis.

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